This is a poem we wrote when those of us once known to ourselves and others as 'Maria' were beginning to find out the truth...that we were not her. It describes, more directly than any kind of long and complex essay we could have created in its place, the reality that we live with daily since Rozaya was revealed to have only begun awakening to this world 18 years ago. Though it was written during the time when Maria was being seen for who and what she truly was, we feel that it accurately reflects the same feelings the group of insiders who once acted as Rozaya must have felt as their illusions of unity were coming down, and it is for this reason that we post it here.
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I have no words,
Only the mask on my face, and even that is someone,
Someone who lived when I could not, And survived another day.
I have no darkness,
Only shades of tainted white, and even those are meaningless,
For they are but other selves, who I am not, for I am nothingness.
I have no feeling,
Only the ones who bind me here, and even they know not of me,
For all I am is all they are, and I am not I, but we.