Today, I am done overthinking.
Today marks the start of my new life.
Today, I recant the statements about integration being best for us which I had made in my last post here, and resolve to do what it takes to reverse the course I had begun around that time. I further commit to holding true to this new path, whatever it may bring, and also to preventing, to the best of my ability, the events involving either the center for the blind or DVR from continuing to hold myself or the others of CommunityBelonging back from the lives we deserve. This recanting is based on my recognition that both of my previous posts here were written when I was emotional to the point where I couldn't think clearly, and that both of the plans that were outlined in them could have been improved in many ways before I put them into action. In the wake of that recognition, and with the new year fast approaching, I am providing for all of us within CommunityBelonging a new life, in a place of our own which we are in the process of moving into as of now.
The current date is December 29, 2019, and as of this date, my position on the ideas of our existence being classed as a mental illness, integration being the best thing for us as a group, and hiding our multiplicity being the only other option for a successful life, are as follows.
Though I cannot speak for anyone else among us, I roundly reject all three of those ideas, and find them to be based in fears which have no place in my life accept for that which they are given through the judgments of society, which in and of themselves are made in the presence of fear, ignorance, greed and other such states. On the heals of the fact that I cannot change these states on the levels at which they would need to shift in order that society be healed from them, I place the fact, within the context of my life, that I will nevertheless deny the products of these states the power over me that, until this day, they had been growing from without consequence or questioning.
The products of these states are not only the judgments of society, but also the emotional, mental and physical tensions that have held both ourselves and others from the lives we deserve. They feed on one another, leaving destruction in their path, and I, as a member of CommunityBelonging, refuse to allow this to continue in my life. This new year, I vow to be active in that refusal by taking the following measures.
1. I will counter the idea that our existence as many persons within a single body is a mental illness by taking steps to better our life, which will include, but not be limited to, building consistent communication between us which is unhindered by the control of others who would be otherwise uninvolved in the process, and building strong senses of identity, either collective or individual, within each member of CommunityBelonging. I will show that I have taken this measure by providing written evidence of having taken these steps, which will include, but not be limited to, public blog and other social media posts, private journal writings and an updated contract of correction that will be posted elsewhere on the blog.
2. I will counter the idea that integration is the best thing for CommunityBelonging by addressing the internal and external factors which led to me holding this belief as if it were fact. I will address internal factors by exploring the ways in which experiences that could be classed as integration have impacted myself and the others who see themselves as part of that group. I will show that I have explored this question by writing a detailed post about it. To address the external factor that contributed to my holding of this belief as if it were fact, I will challenge the reasoning given to us by supporters of integration by creating a separate post in which these points will be addressed as part of a discussion about my recent experiences and revelations related to our origins.
3. I will address the idea that hiding our multiplicity is our only option for a successful life by successfully progressing on measures 1 and 2 above, and by deliberately creating others out of the aspects of me that remain after said progress has been steady for at least six months. I will show evidence for this by writing a detailed post about it as I am engaging in the activity.
These measures are only the beginning of what I hope will be a new life for us. I plan to stand by my original desire, which was, is, and has always been, to allow CommunityBelonging to be what it is, not what the world wants it to be, and if that means that I myself must construct a plan of counteraction, a contract of correction, or further measures like the ones written above, then so be it. If I may be blunt, my last two articles were full of mistakes and logical holes, the more recent one more so than the one further in the past, and I will stop at nothing to correct these, and prevent more from happening. No one is perfect, and I realize that, but letting the same problems continue unaddressed is something that, I will say with confidence, is unacceptable to me at present.