My life is continuing to change. This may or may not be the last article you all will see from me. Whether or not I write here again as who I am today, I know that whatever the future holds will be for the best of everyone here.
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I’m going into a one-on-one program with another insider of this community, Bethiny-ann, who I’ve known for years now. I wouldn’t normally bother to announce something like this, but it’s reason enough for me to announce other big changes coming to the community as I undertake this process. In preparation for the program, I have begun releasing my knowledge of primal therapy, a regressive trauma-based psychotherapy created by Arthur Janov, a person of the outside world, to what we’ve taken to calling the “general memory” or “collective mind.”
That means that everyone who is aware of the current-day happenings of this life will also have access to that knowledge. I will, then, be giving up the only thing that clearly defines me as separate from everyone else, aside from my name and my history, which is something that I desperately need to do if I am ever to change my ways once and for all. Cooperland and other insiders have told me many times that releasing what I know could potentially help those of us who are thus far only aware that they exist In the context of single tasks, parts of tasks, etcetera to understand that there can be more to their lives than what there is now. For their sake, I hope that idea is found to be true. It is not the knowledge of primal therapy itself that can be dangerous, it is the misapplication of that knowledge, particularly, in the case of this whole community, in the way I was misapplying it, that often causes problems. Simple understanding of how proper primal therapy should be done, understanding which I have had in the back of my mind all along, can do no harm. My inexperience will not be the inexperience of another who shares in the knowledge of what was, and is, supposed to help people regain their ability to feel, which is why, for the time being, I will only be releasing the knowledge I have of the theory and ethical methods of this therapy to the rest of the community.
After I complete the one-on-one program, I want to integrate with the three-month-old who goes by the body’s name, Maria. In my opinion, this community needs a strong, stable central person to do the tasks of life, not a crowd of people working individual tasks to the bone. That being said, I also believe that consent is important, so I do support what many on the inside are doing as far as helping those of us who once only identified as specific tasks, parts of tasks, etcetera to understand that they are more than these things. It is my personal hope, and a wish that will probably never be reality, that once a degree of self-awareness is obtained by these insiders, they will integrate with Maria of their own free will. Something like that cannot be forced, and their ability to consent is far from developed at the moment, so for now I will focus on getting my affairs in order before attempting my own joining with her.
I hope that being in this program will put me in a better position for integration, whatever it takes. As things progress, I myself, or other insiders, will provide updates on what has happened. I just want to find peace, and I’m tired of the chaos that living as a multiple 24/7 seems to have brought. I am one of the few here who believes that we have a problem because we are many, and, unless someone can convince me otherwise, I am going to do all I can to fix it, correctly this time.
You all may or may not hear from us for a while. At the moment, life is throwing us down so many holes it’s hard to keep up this sight. I hope that when we do return, though, we will be better than we are now.
Thank you for reading.