*** Another thing we wrote in 2016, this time capturing what some of us felt in that time about our then therapist and past mental and behavioral health treatment. This one goes to show how far we've come since then, since these days, we don't let one another's anguish get to the point that it contributes to thoughts of people who care for us being untruthful in some way. ***
I received no praise for settling. Not for settling myself, not for settling for less than what I deserved, not for settling in any sense of the word.
My family truly comes of one, when you think about it.
Never praised, or calmed, it’s no wonder we split.
The pain was simply too much to stand alone.
I had no other options left, so we shattered into many, from one.
Denial was strong for the rest of that time,
But some months back I finally opened my eyes.
No wonder I’d never feel right talking to myself.
It was not I, but they, who needed help.
It was only my searching that landed me here.
Sadly, it was this same searching that handed me fear.
It was these robots who instilled in us disgust,
And who taught us to love things other kids thought nothing of.
It wasn’t just robots, it was everyone else too.
If only I’d tried harder, then they would have taught me how.
Or at least, that’s what I’m thinking, that’s always what I’m thinking. But isn’t that of then, and not of now?
No, it is of now, because she’s gone.
They’re all gone, and we’re alone again, in the dark.
Nothing remains but hurting happiness, memories now poisoned by rejection and Abandonment.
No validation and now I see the cracks.
They’re holes now. No validation, nothing asked but our functions.
Healing? This is not how.
I knew in the back of my mind it would end like before.
She told me a lie, and gave us nothing to hold onto.
No praise. Our whole life, no praise.